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Mental note: the PoolHouse had to be converted into a kitchen after the microwave oven incident. This resulted in no dishwashing being done and dirty curry covered dishes filling the already disgusting swimming pool. |
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The Really Unrealistic News, with Cuthbert Stevenson-Smythe III Esq.
Today, The Chelsea football team were discovered as accessories in a bank robbery (what? like handbags and stuff?-Sparkle). Tottenham Hotspur, have been taking ballet classes with Madame Maggot Fontaine. Sol Campbell was caught in the act wearing a frilly baby pink tutu.
Overlord of the Flumpa-Lumpas, Sir Henning Ruud Olsen(jimmy!!) has arrived in Sparkleton today. The Flumpa-Lumpas of Mistress Sparkle's house are supposedly in the running for gaining the coveted "most worthy pillow"award . Sir Henning is to present the award. Sparkle is reportedly happy with Maracas training techniques. Her exact words were "it's been good for her, she needs her meds now."
Maracas caught on petrol drinking bender! Just last night, the crazed psychopath, Miss Stevie Maracas was caught by Ben Flumpa-Lumpa. All she had to say for herself was this "I'm thirsty, anyone got any acetone?"
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So far, so good. There have only been 40 deaths and a further 66 persons in a critical state.These "accidents"(Sparkle's evil mind) were caused by someone(no names mentioned..ehem..Sparkle) placing mouldy curry and maggots excretions in the water system. Rumours say that these fatalities could have been avoided, had the builders followed instructions. Apparently one of the builders painted the brand new fluffy, solid gold toilet in a mixture of PVA glue and pink paint. Work is now at a stand-still. Sparkle is thinking of taking on the condo's renovations herself, with the help of Maracas. The pairs lawyer and social worker, discopistol, is suing the building firm for all their money, in order to pay for a new waste filter for her wormery. Maracas is to have her own lounge, padded floor included, plus a new "holiday" cell made from jelly babies!! Sparkles new office will have a door that leads to a walk in fridge. This office will be strictly off-limits to the likes of Maracas. |
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